People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize