Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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