this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
