Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
