Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
