Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
you inspire me to be a worse person
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
