She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
