I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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