You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
