we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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