I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
