I'm eating all of the evidence.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
