Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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