i think my tv is drunk
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
