just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Randomize
