beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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