what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
