you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
