My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
There's always time for handjobs
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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