the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
