ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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