I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
