Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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