lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
