This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
