You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
