Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
