u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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