garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
You've changed since you got that strap on
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