You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
i now understand why vodka
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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