Where did you get a picture of my penis
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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