Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
it's great music for shaving your balls
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
