I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
