Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
did i just pee glitter
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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