is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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