Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
