I hate your face
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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