Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Randomize