I seem to have left my pride at pride
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
