5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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