you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Randomize
