I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
