the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
