I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
We left the knife in your bed.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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