i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Need sex. Gaining weight.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize