and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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