my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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