Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
