so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
