Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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