I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize