im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
