we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
