It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
