Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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