She said her name was "party"
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
