I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
