UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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