and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I checked into jail on foursquare
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
