I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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