I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
