He is like the real live version of the state fair..
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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