I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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