Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
